Beauty Within

Written by Sumayya Feroz

According to our society’s standards a person is only beautiful if he or she has a fair skin tone. The people with dark skin tone mostly get bullied from their childhood by their friends, teachers, relatives and specially the old age aunties which are found in every family who have right to criticize every one’s appearance, these type of persons can find “a mole” on some one’s face but not beauty in the heart. God knows who gave them this right to judge a person like some show piece. Due to this fairness craze girls use different whitening creams which contain huge amount of mercury, steroids and other harmful chemicals, in the beginning these creams give you a fair colour and then after some time the skin condition get worse.

People out there listen to me very carefully; you are beautiful in your own way.

A pearl is pearl either it is black or white nothing can bring down its value. Your creator made you in the best form. And the people who humiliate you have an inferiority complex so they get satisfaction by laid down others. When someone can’t do something good by themselves then they criticize others who are better than them in any way.

If someone asks me ever where we can find beauty or what is beauty? I can easily say beauty is everywhere, beauty is in the world, beauty is in the white and beauty is in the black.

Love you All

Muqabil (review) Episode 21 – 22

For the past two months, Muqabil has slowed down a great deal. I feel that in one episode they show the happenings of only one day (in terms of the time span being shown) . And that might be the reason why they have so many filler scenes and so many conversations that don’t seem to be going anywhere. We all do that at home with our family members, right? But when we are watching a serial, we want each and every scene to somehow contribute to the progress of the story. Unfortunately for the past several episodes, Muqabil has been full of such futile conversations. However the good thing about Muqabil is just when I’m losing hope, it hits me with a shock, a surprise, a twist in the story which is completely unpredictable.

Since arman found the truth about his father, the story was going round in circles. Although I did understand what arman was going through, I found it a little difficult to digest many of his dialogues even with his flawless acting. I kind of knew that arman is angry with Pareesa because he thought that Pareesa has used him against his own father as revenge but it came a lot later than I expected. The conversation between arman and Pareesa should have been in the previous episode. That might have saved us from a lot of tantrums that arman has been throwing since. Anyway, better late than never. Perhaps they wanted everyone to feel and sympathise with arman. So yes, great scene where Pareesa is trying really hard to save her marriage with arman because she loves him and arman is just trying hard to get away from all of them because he considers himself the real victim here. I really liked his dialogues and the way they both delivered them (Mohsin Abbas needs to improve his urdu a bit more) and what was the best part of the episode was the last bit! Yes, arman’s mother has overheard them! And with her screaming capabilities, I’m hoping she will be able to tell the rest of the world.

I have watched na maloom afraad and I thought kubra khan and Mohsin Abbas haider were the real weak links of the movie. Fast forward a few years and they have turned into a treat to watch. They have an amazing chemistry, great on screen presence and impeccable acting skills. The way Mohsin Abbas haider looked at kubra khan in the last scene when she was leaving the room was done so well. The expression on his face was that of a man who was completely helpless: someone so deeply in love but who has no choice but to let go of his love.

So anyway, now that arman’s Mommy hopefully knows the truth, I’m expecting a power packed and happening episode next week. I hope they don’t drag it further and can finish it off in 24-25 episodes.

 

Why she stayed?

Silicon Valley CEO abused wife for 10 years, jailed for 30 days only

Yes, you read it correctly. Only 30 days.

And what angered me more was that the judge actually asked her why she stayed for so long?

And since I have read this, I have been thinking the same, why she stayed? She was an educated, independent woman who was an engineer at Apple. She should not have tolerated this abuse even for a day. How did she let it be for 10 years?

But is it really so easy to get out of abusive relationships?

Unfortunately, no. It’s not easy at all. It’s in fact, very difficult.

Abuse is very common, a lot more than we think. In fact, we overlook it most of the times. It’s something we don’t want to talk about, scared that people might be judgemental towards us. But by doing that we also make our loved ones feel that being a victim of abuse is something to be embarrassed about. Also, if the abuse is psychological, we often don’t pay heed at all.

Abusers have one goal in mind: to take (and mainten) control over the victim. To do so, they can choose any method: fear, intimidation or guilt to make sure the victim does not ask for help or try to get out of the situation.

All abusive relationships work in a cycle: the tension build up, the explosion and the honeymoon period. The explosion is the time when the abuse actually happens and can be triggered by something very petty and the honeymoon period is the time when the abuser pretends to act sweet and tries to win over the victim again. This is also the time when although the abuser apologises for his/her behaviour but also makes sure to tell the victim that it was only the victim’s actions that forced the abuser into committing that act. Victims of abuse over time loose confidence and start believing this lie slowly and gradually that it’s their fault to be in such a situation.

One of the many reasons why Neha Rastogi decided to stay with her abusive husband Abhishek Ghattani for 10 years. Because she loved him. And because she believed him when he told her that every time he abused her, it was her mistake.

But that’s not the only reason I must say. Victims often start doubting themselves: what if I will be unable to cope? What if he really will change just like he promised me last week? And things like this only make the victim fall deeper into the abyss.

And then of course the social stigma. Since childhood, girls are bombarded with the idea of them being the damsel in distress who would be saved by their knights in shining armour. They dream of their weddings and divorce is often seen as a failure of being a good wife and/or mother.

And then finally when a victim musters all the courage to actually take action, the judge asks her, “Why did you stay for so long?”