Blissful Marriage (8)

Contrary to popular belief, Islam is the most feminist religion/systems of all. Dont believe me? Read on!

Financial Obligation

Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means. [4:34]

No matter how much husbands think they are favoring their wives by going out, sweating out to earn bread for the family, it is in  fact one of their religious duties. Since it is an obligation, men have to provide for all the necessities of their wives whether they like it or not and can never ever think of it as a favor to their wives because thats how Allah has devised the system. In return, women are only supposed to stay loyal to their husbands and obey  them in things which are not contrary to Islam. If a woman has her own financial income, she has no responsibilities to fulfill, at least not islamically. She is allowed to keep all to herself or spend it the way she wants to without worrying about anything. She might decide to help, but her husband cannot force her to do so.

Household Chores

We have all grown up seeing our moms spend hours in the kitchen and many of those who have been brought up in the West might even have seen our moms scrubbing toilet floors. It is inculcated in us that its a woman’s duty to do all that. Interestingly, while on the one hand, men are supposed to earn bread for the family, there is not a single ayah or hadith which I have been able to find that makes it compulsory for women to do any of the household chores! Women can actually not do any of the household chores and still not be answerable to Allah (SWT). If women do any of it, they do it out of love for their husbands and children and to help their husbands save a few extra pennies. There is no law (religious or secular) that coerces them to make dinner and then not be appreciated for it. Now if you are a married guy and ur wife attempted to make gulab jamuns for you which tasted more like kacha milk powder, get up and kiss your wife’s forehead and appreciate her for at least making an effort cuz she was not supposed to do that, she just did that out of love for you 🙂

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8 thoughts on “Blissful Marriage (8)”

  1. Being loyal needs to be elaborated I guess. I’m not sure but I think wives have to “serve” their husbands which probably would include cooking. I know about one hadith or Ayah (not sure if it is mentioned in Quran or if it is a hadith) where it is permissible for a woman to break her fast to taste the food she is cooking, if and only if her husband is strict. This would probably make cooking a duty for wives. But again, I’m not too sure and am asking coz I don’t have knowledge about it. I know that wives do not have a duty to serve the parents of her husband or any of his relatives, as in if some guests come home, she is not bound to cook for them and the man should arrange for serving the guests, but as far as I know, wives are bound to serve their husbands. Now again, the word serve here is arguable and needs elaboration…

    Sorry for a long comment 🙂

  2. @ safi
    lol mirchein bhi chirhak sakti hoon waise tou 😛

    @ Haris
    i have heard of that hadith too but there are certain things that need to be considered:
    1. Its a hadith not supported by the Qur’an. The Qur’an does not say that women have to ‘serve’ their husbands. It only says that women need to be obedient in things that are Islamic and safeguard their chastity.
    2. Even if we say that Hadith is not Zai’f, it is talking about strict (read zalim) husbands, which any way is not allowed in Islam
    3. We all know that Hazrat Fatima (RA) used to work so much at home that her shoulders would even get injured at times and we have also all heard that she once complained to her father that she gets tired by working so much, the examples that we keep giving to everyone. But there is another part of the story which we hardly ever talk about: Hazrat Ali (RA) could not afford a servant for her, remember he was not rich wen he migrated to medina and wen he got married. It was a time wen he used to do jobs that were usually done by slaves and he was usually only able to earn a few dates which he shared with his wife over dinner. Hazrat Fatima (RA) was supporting him to ensure a better relationship which was appreciated by Hazrat Ali (RA). There are several incidents that depict how much Hazrat Ali (RA) loved and respected Hazrat Fatima (RA). As soon as he was able to afford a servant, he made sure that Hazrat Fatima (RA) would get all the comfort that she deserves.

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