Blissful Marriage (4)

Polygamy

Women, hate me for saying this out loud once again, but polygamy is allowed in Islam.

If ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, Marry women of your choice, Two or three or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (among them), then only one, or (a captive) that your right hands possess, that will be more suitable, to prevent you from doing injustice. [4:3]

Men, stop being so happy now. There are conditions that you must fulfill to justify marrying another woman!

The Arabs were guilty of a double injustice to widows: they did not give them and their children a share in the inheritance of their husbands, nor were then inclined to marry widows who had children, because the responsibility for the maintenance of the children would in that case devolve upon them. The Qur’an remedied both these problems by giving a share of inheritance to the widow with a share also for the orphans, and it commended the taking of such widows in marriage by allowing polygamy expressly for this purpose. It should, therefore, be clearly understood that monogamy is the rule in Islam and polygamy is only allowed in certain circumstances. This permission was given at a time when the wars, which were forced on the Muslims, had decimated the men, so that many widows and orphans were left for whom it was necessary to provide. A provision was made in the form of polygamy so that the widow should find a home and protector and the orphans should have paternal care and affection.

Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husband’s) absence what Allah would have them guard. As to those women on whose part ye fear disloyalty and ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (Next), refuse to share their beds, (And last) beat them (lightly); but if they return to obedience, seek not against them Means (of annoyance): For Allah is Most High, great (above you all). [4:34]

Another condition that must not be ignored is that a man has to be able to deal justly with all of his wives. Now thats quite a task. Dealing with one wife can be difficult for men, I only wonder how men can deal justly with 2, 3 or even 4 wives.

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13 thoughts on “Blissful Marriage (4)”

  1. Also,

    “He who has two wives and is not just between them, he will come on the Day of Resurrection with one of his sides fallen.”

    [Abu Dawood #2133 & Tirmidhi #1141 and verified]

    If I were a man, in today’s mehngai and fast paced life, reading the above, I kinda wouldn’t take the chance :s

  2. i was at this dars very recently and it had everything to do with marriage and relationship between husband and wife – and this topic too was there…

    to your post i’d like to re-add or rather re-emphasize what you’ve quoted in the beginning. It is allowed, but no human can do justice to more than a woman at a time. Our Prophet was way beyond humaness and hence his wives never had issues… but in today’s day and age if the man decides to remarry, his first wife and kids suffer heavily – hence making it all the les acceptable even if it is allowed.

    It isn’t a right given to man for the satisfaction of his desires and today that is exactly what shape and re ason it is given

    1. “Prophet was way beyond humaness” is an exaggeration in my opinion. He was a normal human being with normal physical strength, who used to sleep, eat, drink, work, pray etc.

      The very notion of Prophet (Muhammad, S.A.W) being physically different from us negates the importance of following Sunnah in Islam.

  3. @ H
    precisely…and then Allah (SWT) has made it so clear that the man has to provide the finances for the family so i guess that is one of the many reasons that men stick to just one wife

    @ farooq
    well if the man can do that justly, then there shouldnt be a problem…at least religiously so i personally would never stop my husband from remarrying (although, frankly speaking, that would make feel bad) but at least i wouldnt be held responsible if my husband some day decides to cheat on me.

    @ adesi
    thats wat my point is. there are certain communities in Pakistan where men marry more than one woman and make their wives be the bread earners for the family, something which is not acceptable in Islam any way. But obviously, remarrying would be a better option than sleeping around with a woman who mite just happen to be the wife’s best friend.

    1. @ sauer
      i guess! one woman is enough if the guy is willing to take full responsibility

      @ maryam
      i seriously dont remember why but i guess coz most muslim men think of it as their birth right to be able to have 4 wives at the same time 😛

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